Sprockets was a recurring fictional television talk show skit created by actor, writer and comedian Mike Myers for the American sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live. Myers played Dieter, a bored, dissolute German expressionist and minimalist who would interview celebrities in whom he was barely interested and always bring the discussion around to his "limited" monkey Klaus. The sketch made fun of German art culture in the 1980s. Appearing asexual or effeminate, Myers' costume was tight black leotards, round wire rimmed glasses and slicked back hair. The theme song for the sketch as heard on SNL is Kraftwerk's 1986 single Electric Café. The song was sped up by playing the 33⅓ rpm album at 45 rpm, then it was remixed. Some later skits featured Dieter outside of his talk show environment starring in parodies of game shows, TV dance parties, and art films. Karl-Heinz (Kyle McLachlan) and Dieter (Mike Myers) The sketch was to be made into a film in 2000, featuring Myers and David Hasselhoff. However, Myers decided he did not approve of the script (despite being one of the writers) and backed out. This resulted in a major lawsuit against Myers for breach of contract. Whether or not a film will ever be made now is unclear, but it certainly seems unlikely at this point. Contents 1 Memorable Quotes and Catch-Phrases 2 List of SNL episodes featuring Dieter 3 See also 4 External links Memorable Quotes and Catch-Phrases "I am filled with anticipation (remorse), and it is most delicious." "Would you like to touch my monkey? Touch him! Touch my monkey!" "His agony was gorgeous. I need to be slapped." "Rühren mein Affe. Lieben meine Affe-monkey!" (excite/agitate my ape. love my ape-monkey!)" "Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance." "It was Twyla Tharp, or was it Vic Tayback, who once said of him: 'He is dance'." "It had a good beat and was easy to dance to; I give it a fourteen." "Now I am as happy as a little girl!" (spoken while pinching the fabric of his shirt at the nipples and pulling it away from his body) "Sadly, Klaus is limited. But he is beautiful, is he not?" "Your story (questions, setup, et al) has become tiresome." "I appreciate a warm hand on my opening." "Karl-Heinz, you are beautiful and angular; and if you were a gas, you'd be inert." "Gregor Voss, your presence intimidates me to the point of humiliation. Would you care to strike me?" "Textures intrigue me." "Why is it that the truly brilliant are doomed to a life of obscurity, surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, only to end up covered by sores in a pool of their own filth? Oh well, the beat goes on." "You have disturbed me almost to the point of insanity...There. I am insane now." "Whore. Nun. Whorenun." "Your anger is delicious." "I feel spent, like a man who is forced to wear his genitals around his neck like a pendant." "That book (film, poem, et al) pulls down my pants and taunts me. But not in a mean-spirited way." "You will leggo my Eggo. Now." "In your film, Irritant #4, the only two images were a baby's head and a toilet. Did you mean for me to scream?" "That book (film, poem, et al) looks at me when I'm naked and calls its friends." "You are a master of exposing tedium." "I love going to Oktoberfest, because they drink a lot there, and afterward you can skate home in other people's sick." List of SNL episodes featuring Dieter All appearances were in the form of "Sprockets" shows, except where indicated. April 15, 1989 host: Dolly Parton May 20, 1989 host: Steve Martin September 30, 1989 host: Bruce Willis November 18, 1989 host: Woody Harrelson December 16, 1989 (in "Dieter In Space") host: Andie MacDowell March 17, 1990 (in "Dieter's Dance Party") host: Rob Lowe September 29, 1990 host: Kyle MacLachlan December 15, 1990 host: Dennis Quaid April 13, 1991 host: Catherine O'Hara February 15, 1992 (in "Love Werks") host: Jason Priestley May 16, 1992 host: Woody Harrelson March 20, 1993 (in "Dieter's Dream") host: Miranda Richardson November 20, 1993 (in "Das Ist Jeopardy!") host: Nicole Kidman March 22, 1997 host: Mike Myers See also Recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches External links Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to: Sprockets (television) Video Clip of the Sprockets sketch on YouTube Another Video Clip of the Sprockets sketch on YouTube Search Term: "Sprockets_%28television%29" Categories: Saturday Night Live sketches | Fictional Germans

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